Hillary Clinton’s Official Response To Mike Flynn’s Resignation Is ‘LOLOLOLOLOL!’
We don’t know if Hillary Clinton is ever going to run for president again, because we are a normal person unlike that dorkwad Chris Cillizza at the Washington Post, and we don’t write columns that came right out of our butts, telling Hillary not to run again. But we DO believe we’re starting to figure out what at least some of Hillary’s engagement during the Trump “presidency” is going to look like. She’s going to fuck with Trump on Twitter, while wearing her coziest pantsuit pajamas, watching “The Good Wife” and sending yoga emails.
Consider this thing Hillary tweeted Monday night, after seeing the news about possible Russian spy Mike Flynn’s graceful exit from the Trump administration:
Haha, GET IT? Ok, first of all, Philippe Reines is an old pal of Hillz, who worked for her at the State Department when she was doing Benghazi, and who also worked for her campaign, the one that got three million more votes than Trump’s campaign. And when he says “COMETS,” he is making a dad joke play on words, because Mike Flynn and his son Stupider Mike Flynn Junior were all obsessed with #pizzagate, the fake news story that alleged that Hillary Clinton and John Podesta and Satan and whoever else were running a child sex ring in the basement of the Comet Ping Pong pizzeria in Washington DC. Of course, there is no basement at the Comet Ping Ping, and the entire conspiracy theory was based off some idiots’ belief that Podesta’s Wiki-leaked emails talked about pizza WAY TOO MUCH, therefore they were probably all having sex with kids. Classic example of Occam’s Razor.
So Hillz is laughing into her wine about that. But you really need to see Reines’s full tweet:
Yes, children, Hillary Clinton quoted a tweet that literally sends Mike Flynn, who ain’t got no job now, to put his obsessive pizza skills to work, by applying to work at the Domino’s. Hey, maybe there is a Hillary child sex ring there, GO LOOK FOR IT, MICHAEL!
If you’ll remember, when the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals told the Trump administration to go fuck itself last week, Hillary threw high-level shade by simply tweeting how many judges voted against Trump and how many voted for him:
And who can forget, back during the campaign, before Russia and the FBI and a handful of rednecks in the Rust Belt squeaked Donald Trump into a “win,” when Hillz simply tweeted this, in response to a Trump tweet:
To be fair, her staff probably did that tweet, but these days we’re pretty sure she’s just using her Obamaphone, which is probably a hell of a lot more secure than whatever unprotected Jitterbug phone Trump uses to complain at the world about his insecurities, to occasionally, when the moment feels just right, use her lady powers to take the illegitimate orange fuckface down a few million notches, and right there on Twitter, where he feels safest.
Keep it up, Hillary! But only if you want to, since you’ve earned the right to do whatever the hell you want to for the rest of your goddang life.
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