Every bite is like an episode of a tsundere romance anime series.
After a morning of clacking keys, a new sound began to echo throughout SoraNews24 headquarters. It was the sound of our staff’s collective stomachs synchronizing their cries for sustenance.
No one felt like going out to pick up lunch, though, so we decided to order a pizza from Domino’s instead. Our reporter Seiji Nakazawa volunteered to put in the call, and without hesitation ordered the chain’s newest creation, the Tsundere Pizza.
So why did Seiji make the executive decision to get a Tsundere? Because deep down inside, he’s always wanted a tsundere, an anime character who switches between hating and adoring her love interest for vaguely defined reasons (if said reasons are even defined at all). That might sound like hell on earth to some people, but tsundere are one of anime’s most historically popular archetypes, and Seiji was only too happy to explain their appeal while we waited for the deliveryperson.
“When a tsundere is bashfully hating me, my heart dances! It’s like, ‘Does she despise me?’, but then in an instant, she becomes so sweet. That feeling of being screeched at by your childhood friend until you’re about to collapse…it’s just the absolute best. What more could you ask for?’”
Seiji then began softly chanting “Tsundere…tsundere…tsundere…,” until the pizza arrived. When it did, he covetously grabbed the box, saying that the Tsundere Pizza would obviously want him to have the first taste of her.
▼ We pointed out that the Tsundere Pizza had said nothing of the sort, but Seiji simply chalked this up to her being too prideful to express her true feelings. Classic tsundere!
The hateful side of the tsundere persona is represented by a massive amount of sliced jalapenos, triple the amount Domino’s usually gives you when you request the spicy peppers. As Seiji lifted the lid, he felt the tangy sting of the jalapenos prickling his nostrils, and since a greeting that’s also a sign of aggression is straight out of the tsundere playbook, Seiji was pleased with where things were going.
“Ah, yes, my heart is dancing,” Seiji informed us as he pulled off a piece and took a bite, and he’s happy to report that yes, the Tsundere Pizza delivers on both halves of the tsundere personality. The jalapenos are undeniably spicy, but all the creamy cheese helps soften the blow after the initial impact.
▼ The Tsundere Pizza also has pepperoni, Italian sausage, and onion, but they can be hard to see under all those peppers.
However, the Tsundere Pizza isn’t demure enough to let you off the spice hook entirely, and for the aftertaste the fire of the jalapenos comes back, lest you forget that this pizza also kind of hates you.
▼ Seiji, in the middle of a complex relationship with a slice of pizza
In that sense, eating the Tsundere Pizza really is like watching a “will they or won’t they” romantic anime. At first, all those jalapenos are like “Stay away from me, BAKA!” Then the cheese warmly envelops your tongue, whispering “Oh, okay, we can get a little closer,” only to remind us, “But…but not that close…baka…”
It’s a bit of an emotional roller coaster, but just like tsundere anime fans are always drawn back in for another episode, the Tsundere Pizza’s flavor has Seiji longing for his next bite.
[ Read in Japanese ]