Greetings, minions. Saturday was a bleak day for the old doctor, a couple of grim, feel-bad cinematic misadventures capped off by an underlit but gore packed adventure. Film fests are a grim affair full of fake people with fake smiles, but I’m here to endure them so you don’t have to.
The Long Walk
Director: Mattie Do
Writer: Christopher Larsen
Cinematographer: Matthew Macar
The Old Man (Yannawoutthi Chanthalungsy), discovers he may be able to prevent his mother’s death 50 years earlier by following a ghost back in time. Time wackiness ensues.
I kid. It’s not wacky. It made me want to slash my wrists. Which I loved. DON’T JUDGE ME. It’s a lovely film, slow, full of quiet suffering, and ghosts.
Directors: Severin Fiala, Veronika Franz
Writers: Sergio Casci, Severin Fiala, Veronika Franz
Cinematographer: Thimios Bakatakis
Laura (Alicia Silverstone) is a recently divorced mom with two kids. Richard (Richard Armitage) left her for Grace (Riley Keough), a younger women with a troubled past with psychosis and a connection to a Christian death cult. After a tragedy, Richard takes Grace and the kids to their winter lodge. Things go poorly.
In case I missed the artery after watching The Long Walk, this film was the hemlock I needed to finish the job. Slow, quiet, well shot, nice build in tension, good performances by the cast, but ultimately simplistic and underwhelming.
Director: Joe Begos
Writers: Max Brallier, Matthew McArdle
Cinematographer: Mike Testin
A bunch of old veterans (Martin Love, William Sadler, David Patrick Kelly, Fred Williamson, George Wendt, and Tom Williamson) gather at the VFW lodge to celebrate bartender Fred’s (Stephen Lang) birthday. A young woman (Sierra McCormick) crashes the party with a bag of drugs, stolen from a local drug kingpin. Everyone has a blast and no one gets hurt.
I’m lying. People are beheaded, exploded, chainsawed, grenaded, shot, axed, sliced, diced, stabbed, and mutilated.
Great practical effects almost completely obscured by underlit scenes. Still manages to be fun, but I would’ve liked it if the gamma was cranked up about 50% more in post.
80’s nostalgia continues on.
I hope this was fun for you.
Yours forever, whether you like it or not,
THE ABOMINABLE DOCTOR ABOMINABLE