The Emmys are the best awards show because they’re the only one that used to routinely give awards to other awards shows, before they decided just to give those awards exclusively to Jon Stewart and then John Oliver, which seems unfair to Trevor Noah until you remember he is neither funny nor insightful.
This year’s Emmy awards were punctuated by an Outstaning Drama win for Game of Thrones, a show people used to like before George R.R. Martin lost all interest in writing it and the show runners had to rely on their own talent for dialogue and pacing. It was basically as if the voters decided to give the statue to a still-smoldering Amtrak derailment because they had a good steak in the dining car four years ago, they don’t even have the dining car anymore guys.
On the comedy side, Fleabag picked up four major-category wins, but it’s British and they’ve already done a grueling 12 episodes in the past four years so the next season won’t be out until roughly 2037. They put out new episodes of Casualty like clockwork, though.
Craig Mazin won a statue for writing Chernobyl, which must make him feel better about the way he and his friends were absolutely blown out in the recent WGA elections.
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel picked up Supporting Actor and Actress wins for Tony Schalhoub and Alex Borstein while Lena Headey, who played the greatest villain in television history for seven seasons lost out to Julia Garner from Ozark, better known as Because You Watched Breaking Bad.
Saturday Night Live somehow managed to beat Documentary Now! for Outstanding Variety Sketch Series, presumably because the people who gave Jim Parsons four Best Actor statues think that “Isn’t Trump dumb? And now here’s Pete Davidson to apologize to a vocal Trump ally” is the height of comedy.
Next up is the Oscars in February, where best picture will go to a movie set to play in five theaters in La Jolla the week before Christmas about a heroic white guy who befriends a Jewish transwoman in Berlin in 1934 and how the Holocaust weighs on his soul as he turns her into the S.S. Oscar voters will call it “important.”
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