For those who took the bait.
Catholic Church launched an investigation.
That’s right — bad things happened to warrant a formal inquiry. There’s been wrongdoing. Here’s that word again — “wrong.”
To those turncoats in red states who fell for Devil’s disciples’ recent honeyed messages, Fox News would like to say — “you are going to Hell!”
A couple of events in the last few days have spelled potential trouble. The very foundation of what’s “right” and “decent” may be showing signs of cracking. The unholy spirit is taking over.
Democrats are winning.
Well, you voting, sweet-toothed, Devil’s bait-taking losers, now hear this!
“Wrong” doesn’t even do this kind of evil justice. You, numbskulls, voted for Democrats. But did you notice how “Democrat” and “Devil” start with the same letter?!
Who do you think spread their seed while smearing your tastebuds with sugary popsicles?
Of course, you liked them. Instead of voting your conscience, you voted high on sugar.
They pulled the wool over your eyes. In the meantime, the liberal Satan worshippers, immoral to their core, went on a diabolical “summer-of-love” spree.
Animal urges are the only forces to which the Ds are beholden.
Soon, there will be pitch-black, furry, long-tailed, horned, and hoofed Devil’s spawn running all over the place. And they will multiply like you have never seen before.
It’s too late now. The Ds have won your vote. There is no telling who is going to get knocked up next. It might even be men for God’s sake.
Catholic Church can investigate until the Second Coming. Even the nuns don’t know how they got pregnant.
It sure as Hell was not Immaculate Conception.
We at Fox News know the culprit. We don’t need to investigate. We’ve been fighting Democracy forever. We know its telltale signs – the so-called freedoms, rights, equalities, the sex.
Democracy is a nun-impregnating liberal disease, you morons!!!
Oh, it’s time for our regularly scheduled weather news break.