Out of the literally THOUSANDS of news stories I have written over the years, I never, EVER thought I’d get a chance to type out the sentence: “The Boneyard is hitting Blu-ray.” In fact, I’m probably 1 of only about 7 people who even know of this obscure cheesy flick’s existence. Miracles DO happen!
“Three’s Company’s” Norman Fell running a morgue? Phyllis Diller playing a morgue attendant named Miss Poopinplatz? Demonic child-zombies of Asian descent wreaking havoc? Evil killer French poodles? A movie from 1991 whose title is spelled two different ways without even a care about being correct? It’s all wondrously here.
Bless you, Code Red and Kino Lorber! My mind is BLOWN!
The Boneyard (Blu-ray and DVD)
Street Date: April 24, 2018
Director: James Cummins
Starring: Ed Nelson, Norman Fell, Phyllis Diller, Deborah Rose, Denise Young, James Eustermann
A policeman (Ed Nelson) and a psychic (Deborah Rose) link cult mayhem to a morgue (run by Norman Fell) where ancient ghouls are on the loose. The film plunges into the nightmarish experiences of a portly, depressed psychic (Deborah Rose), whose involvement in a grisly child-murder case leads her and her detective partner (Ed Nelson) to an imposing, fortress-like mortuary. Chen, the owner of the funeral home and prime suspect in the case, claims the three mummified corpses in question are not children but ancient demons known as “Kyoshi.” It seems the little monsters have been around for centuries as the result of an age-old curse and can only be placated with offerings of human flesh – with which the mortician has been supplying them his entire life.
When Chen is jailed on murder charges, the under-fed ghouls awaken in search of dinner, trapping the staff inside the mortuary walls and devouring them. The survivors, including Rose and Nelson, use every means at their disposal to combat the demons, which have possessed the bodies of morgue attendant Miss Poopinplatz (Phyllis Diller) and her poodle, mutating them into hideous monsters.
BUY IT IMMEDIATELY!
The post Attention: We Currently Live in a World in Which The Boneyard Is Hitting Blu-ray. There IS a God! appeared first on Dread Central.